“They both apologized and were at once remorseful,” the XO wrote in a summary. “(One lieutenant) stated that he deleted the sky drawing photographs from his phone out of shame and as an attempt at damage control to prevent further accidental spread of the photographs,” the investigator wrote. When the XO asked the lieutenants if anything unusual had happened during their flight that day, the two immediately fessed up and apologized, according to the report. “(The deputy commodore) emailed pictures of the phallic-shaped object that were taken from the ground” to the XO. The XO confirmed that there had been squadron jets in the area of the sky penis that afternoon, according to the investigation. With fuel running low, the jet returned to Whidbey Island.īack on the ground, the deputy commodore of Electronic Attack Wing Pacific soon contacted the squadron, looking for the executive officer, or XO. “I flew one pass over it essentially trying to scribble it out with my contrails. “I remarked that we needed to take steps to try to obfuscate it,” he wrote. “That the contrails were remaining longer than predicted.” “Soon after, I realized the extent of our actions,” the pilot wrote. “Glad you guys noticed,” the pilot replied. “Your artwork is amazing,” the lieutenant commander EWO in the other jet radioed to them. They waited to see if their partner jet would notice their work. “EWO alpha said, ‘Yup, that’s a great idea.’” “Mishap pilot alpha said, ‘Dude, I’m gonna draw a (expletive),’” the EWO said. “Oh yes, that was (expletive)ing amazing,” the pilot said.
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They cracked up in the cockpit as their sky penis came into full view, snapping pics they would later delete once they realized their command would likely go apoplectic. They flew away to a distance where they could take in their work. “I have a feeling the balls will have dissipated by then,” his partner answered. “And we’ll come back up over the top and try to take a look at it.” “To get out of this, I’m gonna go like down and to the right,” the pilot said. The jet streaked across the sky, and the duo’s magnum opus continued to take shape, showcasing the pilot’s prowess in the process. “Some like Chinese weather satellite right now that’s like, ‘what the (expletive)?’” the pilot surmised. “Oh, the head of that penis is going to be thick.” “I don’t wanna make it just like 3 balls,” the pilot said. “It’s gonna be a wide shaft,” the EWO noted. “The shaft will go to the left,” the pilot answered. “Which way is the shaft going?” the EWO asked. “I just gotta navigate a little bit over here for the shaft.” “Balls are complete,” he reported moments later. “Balls are going to be a little lopsided,” the pilot advised. They had found the sweet altitude, and the contrail sky penis was being born in their wake. Soon, the EWO reported they were definitely “marking.” We could almost draw a vein in the middle of it too.” “Airliner’s coming back on their way into Seattle, just this big (expletive)ing, giant penis. “Dude, that would be so funny,” the pilot said. They theorized on the second-order effects of their nascent sky drawing. I’m gonna go down, grab some speed and hopefully get out of the contrail layer so they’re not connected to each other.” “I could basically draw a figure eight and turn around and come back. “I could definitely draw one, that would be easy,” the pilot boasted. “You should totally try to draw a penis,” the EWO advised. “Oh, we turned dinosaurs into sky penises.” “What did you do on your flight?” the pilot joked. Their sky penis plan of attack was captured on their cockpit video recording system, a transcript of which is included in the investigation. “But for some reason still unknown to me, I eventually decided to do it.” “My initial reaction was no, bad,” the pilot wrote in a statement after the incident. The EWO broached it first, according to the investigation. Their partner jet soon flew to another section of their training area, and the lieutenants got an idea. The day’s flight was to be a standard 90 minutes of training over the skies of north-central Washington.
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